Most of you already know that we got the worst news we could get today, none of the eggs fertilized. After they retrieve the eggs they place them in a petri dish with the sperm and then let them fertilize naturally. About 50% of the time they use a procedure called ICSI where they force the sperm into the egg, they don't like to do this procedure unless they know ahead of time the sperm is deformed and wont fertilize without help. Well for us they had no reason to believe the sperm wouldn't be able to break through the shell of the egg and fertilize, that only happens 1 in 1000 cases, and were that one. The doc felt so bad and did all the research he could to figure what happened before he called to give us the bad news. We are both so very heart broken, from what they could tell all 24 eggs seemed perfect. I had a hard time with the procedure, they don't use anesthesia to knock you out, just a drug that dulls the pain and most dont remember anything that happened. For some reason i didn't respond well to the meds and ended up being alert the whole time, along with being very sensitive and having a lot of discomfort. They even gave me 4 times the normal amount, so you can say the past two days have not been easy on me. I was ok with the pain and discomfort because i would remind myself that no pain no gain and this is all worth it because we will have our miracle baby, but now it was all for nothing. We both feel as if we have lost our children.
We met with the Doctor today, he got us in right away when we got there which was nice since I had already been balling my eyes out all morning and could not handle sitting in a waiting room with pregnant women. He explained what happened and told us our options and how we are their priority when we are ready to come back and try again. They will get us in any cycle we want. He is also trying to get as much money refunded to us as he can. He was very understanding and explained emotionally how much they all put into IVF. Being military doctors, they are not required to do IVF, and the military does not support or fund the program. They do it all on their own because they choose to.
So for now were are packing up and heading back to Vegas, were going to take a few days to grieve and then decide what the next step is. We have up to a month to decide if we want to get into the January cycle. Thanks for everyones support and prayers.
Dawn - I just wanted to say how sorry I am. I did IVF #2 last summer and the same thing happened to me. They retrieved 24 eggs, 20 were mature and none fertilized. There are no words that describe getting that phone call when you are anticipating good news. It's so unexpected and devastating. You and your husband are in my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Dawn. I had tears in my eyes reading this post. I just hate this. It's one of those things in life I'll never understand. Why couples who will make such awesome parents have to struggle so hard to get there. Your children are already so very blessed to have parents like you and Devin waiting for them. I hope the wait isn't much longer. ♥
ReplyDeleteDawn,
ReplyDeleteI just wanted to say how sorry I am for the news that you got.It saddens me to see people who want something so badly get news that is the opposite of what you guys were hoping for. The struggle and bumps in the road will be well worth it because some day soon you two will be very blessed! You and Devin are in my thoughts. Try and keep positive thoughts.
I hope that you can keep the faith and grieve and recover soon. I am always here for you guys and will help with whatever I can. I hope that you can get some refund then I think we need to set up a bank account so everyone can make a deposit for you instead of xmas presents this year. I know that everyone is praying for you both and the little ones that are still with God.
ReplyDeleteDawn and Devin I am so sorry to hear this news, my heart breaks for you both! I hope and pray that you will be blessed with your mircle babies very soon!!! Big hugs and tons of prayers for you!!!
ReplyDeleteDevin & Dawn,
ReplyDeleteI'm really sorry to hear this...I know how much you were depending on a positive outcome. This is a setback but now that they know the problem, hopefully the next time will be successful. January will be here before you know it. Try and stay positive...I know that's hard to do right now, but you have each other to lean on. Hope you have a safe trip back...
Love you,
mom